Getting through the new year by reframing your perspective
I'd be lying if I said the last few years have been a cake walk. Truthfully they've been some of the most mentally taxing periods in my life, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate that to 2020 specifically. Last year taught me a lot of things, but I wasn't able to absorb these lessons if I didn't reframe my perspective.
It was very easy for me to feel like I lost all my friends due to politics.
I felt like the career I built as a Twitch streamer was all for nothing.
And that I deserved the nonstop cyberbullying (I mean "Accountability" as the hypocrites say) for having unpopular opinions.
But this was incorrect. None of these were true, actually.
I didn't lose friends. They LEFT because they put their ideological and political beliefs above their friend. According to them, my vote for Trump was enough to stop being my friend because Trump was anti-trans, anti-gay, anti-black, anti-(insert 'oppressed' group here). This is a lie.
If I TRULY valued someone as a friend, I'd make the effort to seek that context and nuance in order to understand WHY they made such a decision.
I would research BEYOND headlines, trending news and the propaganda machines that are mainstream media.
I would be self assured enough to realize when I was letting my feelings overshadow my common sense.
I would also be emotionally mature enough to understand that while friends drift apart, I can still appreciate the moments we've had and the lessons we learned, and that no amount of public slander will erase that.
I didn't lose my career either.
Interestingly enough, when I started on Twitch I had told myself that livestreaming was only a stepping stone for something else. I didn't know what that something else was or what it looked like, but I knew I had more to accomplish in life. I just didn't know that I'd move on so soon, or that I'd be involved in preserving our freedoms from deranged activists that are obsessed with race, sexuality and helping everyone they consider to have less privilege, while knowing damn well their own room is a pigsty. (Read Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life)
When I started to lose my following (over various opinions) I thought that the 3 years of hard work were all for nothing, and that my reputation was ruined because people didn't see a person anymore. They saw Gothix, the Candace Owens wannabee, the anti-black streamer, the transphobe. Not only did it mentally destroy me to hear this every day, but it was also an effective deterrent to keep new viewers from watching my channel. No one want's to watch a transphobe, amirite?
Despite all that, my time on Twitch was NOT for nothing because it prepared me for this politically charged environment that we're currently living through. If I wasn't able to callus my mind, I would have crumbled from all the hate I receive from self-proclaimed, pronoun-in-bio activists, I suspect I wouldn't have had the courage to vocalize opinions that are too problematic for the average safe spacer to explore. (By the way, Trans Women are Men, in case you forgot).
You see how easy it was for me to say that? Effortlessly even. No fear of Trans-activists contacting my sponsors, reporting my account or slapping me with one of the labels they keep in their stockpile. This was one of the biggest takeaway I took from getting cancelled as a Twitch streamer. Once I realized that the money and my reputation meant nothing in comparison to telling the TRUTH, I instantly felt more self-assured and happier overall. When you realize that you're free to say ANYTHING because you know how to overcome the obstacles that manifest as a result, that's power. That's fearlessness.
Finally, I didn't deserve the bullying.
What the experience taught me, however, is that every time someone caves or apologizes for having an opinion (ANY opinion), it slowly conditions society as a whole to be intolerant, reactive and weaker. Imagine how disconnected we've become when opinions equal violence. Or that hate speech (keyword, SPEECH) equals oppression. Or instead of accepting the reality that we share this country (and the planet) with other people, we instead parade ourselves as pompous do-gooders that villainize other humans for not subscribing to our worldview. How incredibly narcissistic.
In any case, my perception on the last couple of years has changed dramatically and I feel a lot happier as a result. So before I end this post, I'd like to share some insight for anyone currently powering through the aftermath of 2020. I promise you, it get's better🙂
1. Accept reality and consider why reality is the way that it is.
- Example: The reality that Men and Women are different and attempting to alter reality won't change biology but it WILL cause problems. The rhetoric of gender being a social construct has resulted in Trans-women sexually harassing biological women. Because the woke left failed to accept this reality, they've instead opened up a can of worms. Are FEELINGS more important than the actual safety and wellbeing of biological Women? Of course Trans women deserve to feel safe, but the reality is that their transition was a choice, a choice that has it's caveats. And by forcing your choice on other people, you in turn are hurting the acceptance of your own movement.
2. Accept the things you cannot change.
- Example: Opinions are downstream from feelings and I have no control over how someone feels about me. If people were truly invested in changing someone's opinion, they would be willing to first understand why someone feels the way that they do. Daryl Davis, a black man that convinced over 200 KKK members to give up their robes by simply having conversations with them. This should be a prime example of how to deal with 'hate speech'. Again, we're not entitled to someone else's feelings, but writing them off as a bigot doesn't make the world a less bigoted place. At that point you're just complaining to complain. Yea, we get it, people have opinions. But are you going to do something constructive about it like Daryl did? Of course you're not obligated to change anyone, and you're certainly welcome to rant, but without (appropriate) action, your rants are just...well, rants.
3. Accept that people are still people.
- Example: To suggest that all conservatives are bigots is to imply that all liberals are kind. To suggest that most Republicans are racist, is to imply that most Democrats are inclusive. To suggest that most black people are marginalized/oppressed/disenfranchised, is to suggest that most black people can't overcome and persevere. You catch the drift? Once you accept that humans are complex, you'll start to evaluate things through rational thinking and not individual bias. Sure, I share the same color with Tyrone, Shaniqua and Malik, but do we share the same interests or experiences? Do we all work equally as hard? Do we all tell the truth? Do we all share the same beliefs? No, of course not. But from the perspective of Critical Race Theory or Equity and Inclusion Training, they see us all as color with one collective experience. Why? Because individuality will always stand in the way of communism.
4. Accept that your responsible for yourself (unless your a toddler, in that case you might need some help)
- Example: If my mental illness (depression) isn't an excuse for me to physically attack someone or commit a crime, then my hurt feelings aren't an excuse to demand censorship or compliance from others. If I need to see a therapist in order to treat my mental illness, then I need to practice mental toughness to treat my emotional immaturity. If the woke consensus is that 'people of color' lack economic wealth, opportunities or resources despite many defying these odds, then it is the responsibility of said POC to strive towards obtaining the same, or take the responsibility to ASK for help (help, not a short cut). If humans have proven themselves to overcome, then we should motivate others to follow suite. Call it survivorship bias if you must (this is an actual thing, apparently), but I ask you: Do you want a Coach that pushes you to persevere and improve? Or one that encourages complacency by excusing you from your failures?
If I didn't take ownership of my feelings, I wouldn't have been able to desensitize myself from 'hate speech'. A necessary trait for those who are prepared to speak out against Government Tyranny. The slandering hasn't stop, and people still try to discredit me. What changed is how I deal with these attempts, and all it took was reframing my perspective🙂